The nature of pure love

Love is a universal word which is on the lips of all people including children and adult. Few people actually knows the nature of love. The nature of love are :
a. Kindness
b. Gentleness
c. Politeness
d. Endurance
e. Reveals and not blind
f. Rejoices in the truthIt is very important to note that God is love. According to John 3:16, "for God so loved the world that He gave us his beloved son so that who ever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life". God's love is the truth and pure love.

Signs of immaturity in marriage

 Marriage as it is known is the union of two people who are madly in love. They come together to profess their love and work together to make their love life work out fine.
Understanding is the best issue in marriage; where it exist there can never be misunderstanding and chaos.

 However, there signs to show that couples are immature in marriage. Such signs are listed below;-
a. Anger - there are situations in marriage where couples have quarrel... and instead of resolving within themselves they tend to be angry and which eventually leads to fighting and finally divorce.
b. Infidelity- couples tend to see another lady or man outside their marriage probably because of the problems at home. This will never bring sanity to the family.
c. Nagging- This is more of the ability of the women than the men. A change to this attitude is needed to make the family good.
d. Vengeance - This is a great thread that damages the love life. It should be avoided if the family must grow.
Others are laziness, battering, malice, pride, un-forgiveness, night crawling, substance abuse, domineering tendencies, lust, lying e.t.c.

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Easy settlement of understanding in marriage

Easy settlement of understanding in marriage.

In polygamy, little misunderstandings can become very complex due to the involvement of many people. At times, the misunderstanding spreads to the children , creating incessant brawls. In monogamy, on the other hand , even when there is misunderstanding, it can be easily settled between the husband and wife.
Which of this type of marriage is better based on the analogy above- Polygamy or the Monogamy?
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Marriage crashing on negative mindset

Marriage crashing on negative mindset

You must have heard stuff like "those in marriage want to get out and those outside it are rushing in." "Marriage is a social imprisonment "e.t.c. Statements like that program people negatively against marriage and instil fear of permanent commitment in them.
To enjoy freedom, they experiment with serial monogamy, contract marriage and co-existence forms of marriage.
A lady was asked by her younger sister to give her the key to her room in her father's house since her wedding was just less than a week away. She objected and said , " who knows how my husband's house will look like ? I may still return to my father's house . " It was to her according to her faith; less than two months later, she divorced and returned home. Oh what a negative mind-set!

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My dear women

Dear Women: Do you want your
man to love, respect and stay faithful to you alone? I have a love portion you can give him.
The ingredients of the love portion
include:...
1. Always look beautiful and attractive.
2. Be diligent and always make sure the house is tidy.
3. Cook delicious meals for him at
all times and always include his
favourite food.
4. Give him good sex and romance.
5. Always pray for him.
6. Be humble and Submissive.
7. Avoid quarrelling with him and if
there is any form of quarrel,always
settle it before the next day.
8. You must be able to ENDURE. A
woman that cannot endure will never last in a man's house.
9. Love his family members like your own family.
10. Always contribute to the development of the home. Don't
have the mentality that it is the
man that must buy everything.

All that glitters are not gold

STORY THAT LADIES MUST LEARN (ALL THAT GLITTERS ARE NOT GOLD)
This story is one among many I've witnessed recently. But it's so unfortunate many of our young ladies are yet to learn lessons from it. I can't imagine why you are here in Nigeria waiting for a guy in Yankee to come and marry you. I can recalled vividly how a course mate dated a guy in UK for good 3yrs, the guy never sent a kobo for her upkeep but kept juicy words to convince her that she should be patience, shortly he will return to the country to marry her and take her take her to UK. The same guy was busy calling her regularly, monitored her movement, so that no guy can come closer to the lady, until a good day we were chatting together in the class on relationship issues before she opened up which I directed her to meet her Pastor. The Pastor advised her to quit the guy, which she adhered to her Pastor's advise, 6months later she got a new spouse and wedded. The UK lover boy is still yet to return to the country.

BACK TO THE STORY OF TODAY

I felt reluctant bringing up this story to the public in the first place, but for the benefit of those that care, I decided to do so.
A beautiful young lady was doing very well here in Abuja. She got a lucrative job in a reputable organization in Abuja. Her income was very okay. In fact, she was living comfortably while also running a private business. Three years ago she met a young handsome man who base in Yankee on social media. They began having an affection for each other. One thing leads to another, he proposed to her, without any delay, she accepted the proposal, few months later, she started processing her travelling documents to travel to meet her new found lover boy. She sold her car, fold up her business, resigned from work and travelled out of the country to meet her lover boy. She did all these without disclosing it to any of her family member neither her friends until she got to U.S, she called me and some of her friends to disclosed that she's now in U.S doing well with her husband, in fact, they have carried out all the marriage obligations in the U.S without the knowledge of her family and friends. Things were rosy with them until when they began having misunderstanding and the man got fed up with the marriage.
Two weeks ago, she sent me a message that her hubby has sent her packing out of his house, she is looking for money to process her travelling documents back to Nigeria. She's now squatting somewhere until when her traveling documents will be processed but worst of all is that the lady that was comfortable in Abuja is now left with penniless in Yankee but now seeking for assistance from her friends in Nigeria. She called me to narrate her ordeal and pleaded with me to meet some of her friends to see whether we can raised money to enable her return to Nigeria, she's facing serious hardship in the U.S.
As a friend that I cherished a lot, I sympathized with her and decided to put calls across to other friends she mentioned to me. Right now, we have raised some money but not enough, hopefully within the month we will get enough money for her to return to Nigeria, soonest.
I believe she has learned her own lesson. I wish some of our ladies out there will learn lesson from this story. We are looking forward to welcome back a beautiful, talented, industrious and hardworking young lady who was doing so well in Abuja but was carried with Yankee based lazy guy.
All that glitters are not gold. I have many of my friends living in Yankee but relied on girlfriends in Nigeria to survive. Most of us are doing far better than those claiming to be in foreign land. Even some of those who are opportune to get a job in Yankee are using their income to service numerous bills unlike here in Nigeria where most of us can evade taxes and go scot free but is a very serious crime there. Stop making yourself so cheap for guys please.

Thank you all for your attention

Love hurt most atimes

Love hurts when you breakup with someone.
Hurts even more when someone
breaks up with you
But love hurts the most,
when the person you love has no idea of how you...
feel.!!!
1. No matter how much the price of
NIKE sandals is reduced, it can never be
sold more than a Garri or Bread.
2. If you have never stolen meat from your mum's soup, it means either she don't cook at all or she is a bad cook.
3. It is a small world does not mean
you can travel or walk from South Africa to Nigeria.
4. If the alarm tone of a China phone
cannot wake you up, it means you may be dead.
5. No matter what happens, 2015 will
be a year of success and break through in your life.
6. In this 2015, no one will walk to you and say ''I AM SORRY'' but they will say
congratulations.
7. The hands that comment ''AMEN''
will claim all the blessings and will live to see what God have planned for them.
http://www.online-datinggist.blogspot.com/

Timely advice to women

TIMELY ADVICE TO THE WOMEN

1. The wife that wins all arguments with her husband is not wise. The home is not a law court.

2. The wife that uses sex as a weapon in the home - placing embargo, going to bed in jeans shorts and trousers - lacks wisdom.

3. The wife that uses the modern trends and laws of "women's rights" to insult or ridicule her husband simply makes a fool of herself.

4. A woman that makes her home devoid of peace through bickering, nagging and quarrels needs help. A man should be eager to run away from office to be at home, for that should be the safest and coziest place on earth for him.

5. Modern-day equality in marriage does not mean competition. It simply means partnership. Taking advantage of such equality to turn around and become the de facto head of the home and oppress the man is tantamount to playing with fire. If you destroy your home, soon you will be the boss of an empty home.

6. A wise wife makes the man feel so good that he assumes that he is the head. Once he gets that feeling, the woman gently wields her power and the head actually turns to wherever the neck wants without a protest.

7. A wife that does not pull herself away from friends' influence and advice or even from the control of her mother and father will have herself to blame.

8. When a man is looking for a wife, he bypasses women of different shapes and sizes to choose a wife. But soon after childbirth, many women hide under the excuse of childbirth to let go of themselves. Many stop bothering about their looks, shape, dressing, etc. Within 5 years of marriage, people start wondering if the wife is the man's aunt, even though she is 7 - 10 years younger. Her defence is that if he truly loves her, he should love her the way she is. But when looking for a wife, he saw people like the present YOU and ignored them and settled for the former YOU.

Today, you go to bed smelling of onions and garlic. You go to bed wearing grandmothers' clothes. Why are you playing with your marriage? Love is not about looks - YES WE KNOW.

 

What Love isn't

You may have heard the song or seen the video

We're talking about the song that's out right now by Sam Smith called "Stay With Me."

One of the lines in the song that's most interesting to us is that line...

"This ain't love it's plain to see--but darlin' stay with me."

But in real life and love and relationships...

As you know, things can get really complicated, confusing and messy.

Love isn't always so black and white, is it?

Sometimes it's not "plain to see," even if you think you "love" someone, it doesn't always work.

Sometimes you're not sure what to do.

Over the years we've been asked a lot...

What do you do if you've tried *everything* to make your love and relationship work?

If you've ever thought you've tried "everything," then you may want to ask yourself...

Have you REALLY tried *everything* or...

Have you tried the same thing a thousand different times?

That's a big distinction and very often the answer to that question is still murky.

The reality is...

Sometimes you should stay and sometimes you should go.

To find out when those times are in a relationship--

Posted by Oriyomi Omo ba

Friday, 6 February 2015

When your man does not want to talk

You want to feel closer but this "thing" that you can't talk about keeps you wary and closed down.

You even start putting a question mark in front of every part of your relationship because you think if "this" can't be resolved, what kind of relationship do you have anyway.

If you've ever felt this kind of frustration before and want some tips on how to get back to loving, here's a question along these lines from a reader and our answer...

A Reader's Question...

"My partner refuses to talk about a problem and if he does say anything, he says one thing but ends up meaning something else. How can I get him to open up and be honest with me?"

Our Answer...

If your man doesn't "want to talk about it," it could be because of any number of reasons...

1. He may not see this as a problem--but you do.

2. Talking about it may not be his preferred way of dealing with problems. He might feel like if you don't talk about it, it will eventually go away.

3. He might feel that he can't win an argument when your opinion differs from his so he doesn't talk about it and if he does, he'll tell you what you want to hear so he can keep some semblance of peace.

So if any or all of these are true in your relationship, what do you do?

If you really want him to open up (and we know this might sting a bit because after all it's HIM who's clammed up and isn't being straight with you)...

You have to look at your approach to "the talk" and how you're coming off to him.

If someone isn't acting the way you want, what's worked for us and for our coaching clients is to first look at yourself and what you can do differently to become more of an invitation to resolve an uncomfortable situation.

Take a look at if you're allowing him to talk without you immediately contradicting him and making him wrong.

(Both of us have fallen into this hole and it always creates even more ugliness and defensiveness!)

See if your words are an invitation to find a solution instead of a constant litany of what's wrong.

There are so many ways you can open up communication between the two of you!

If this relationship is important to you, we invite you to do just one thing differently and see what happens.

More love and ease really is possible.

Posted by Oriyomi Omo ba